Goodbye is Not Forever
by Crymson Rose
Summary: Kita Matsuyama was your average teenager... that is until she goes to live at Wammy's House. Will a new friend and a chance meeting change her life for the better or for worse? Summary sucks... I promise its more interesting than it looks.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Shinigami. Death gods. Using their notebooks called Death Notes, they kill people off before their time to take their remaining life span. If a shinigami saves the life of a human he or she loves by killing another human, that shinigami will turn to dust. A Death Note that falls to the human world becomes the property of he or she who finds it…

I've read all of this before. It was back when I got tied up in the Criminal Victim Mass Murder case… or the investigation that later became known as the Kira case. The name Kira was derived from the English word "killer." Reason being, Kira murdered countless criminals in an attempt to create a utopia in which he was the god… and I despised him. However, I can understand the morals from both sides and still avoid agreeing with them. Yet this case wasn't just about morals, but the innocent lives ensnared in Kira's twisted web of fate.

By murdering so many people, Kira pitted himself against God and His world… and lost. For this, I saw he that had taken everything that mattered to me fall before the Almighty. I was happy then, somewhat. But, as they always say: "There is no triumph without loss, no victory without suffering, and no freedom without sacrifices." Of each of these there were many.

My name is Kita Matsuyama, and I knew Kira's archrival L-and supported him- perhaps more than any other. As I write these words, I am nearly 28 years of age. Fate led me to the path winding in the direction of the Kira case a few weeks after I turned 18; the date was September 11, 2001.

End Prologue


	2. Fear

Part I

Fate

I was a happy 18 year old girl; The one person that I wanted to meet and looked up to in life was L, the silent symbol of justice; I had a handful of close friends, my driver's license, and a great job. I lived in the small town of Gettysburg Pennsylvania, so I had peace as well.

But, everything changed when my parents left for a business trip in New York City on September 10th. They didn't say where they were going, only that it was an emergency and they'd be home the night of the 13th. On Tuesday the 11th, I was sitting in my 2nd period class around 8:45 taking notes. Suddenly, a message came over the intercom that our school was on lock down. My best friend beside me, Sharon, turned to me as whispers filled the room. "I wonder what happened," she murmured almost to herself.

"I'ono," I replied absentmindedly and watched the teacher as he turned the TV on.

A man on the news began to tell the story. "Just moments ago, at 8:45, a passenger jet from Boston, Massachusetts crashed into the north tower of the World Trade Center. The aircraft has left a large hole in the tower… and both are now aflame!"

A live image was shown of the inferno that was now the plane and tower. "Kita, aren't your parents in New York City on a business trip?" Sharon looked nervous.

"Y-yeah, but they didn't say where they were going…" I paused as her question, and reality, sank in. of course they would be there… my parents were in charge of trade negotiations with Japan.

I turned to speak to Sharon again… "Matsuyama! Quiet back there!" Clearly the teacher was anxious as well, but I was too nauseated to care.

I laid my head down on my desk and closed my eyes in an attempt to calm down. Then, I cautiously peeked at the TV and watched the news chopper hover near the scene…

I awoke to Sharon shaking me. "Kita, look!" Her frantic whisper was enough to awaken me.

"It would seem that another aircraft has collided with the south tower…wait… it looks as if the plane has exploded! And the towers are collapsing!" I stood up from my chair and left the classroom as the sirens on the television rose to a horrific wail.

End Part I


	3. Loss

Part II

Loss

I heard the teacher call after me, but I ignored him and headed directly to the office. The secretary regarded me with surprise. "What do you need, Miss Matsuyama?"

I clutched my stomach and put on a pained face, then said: "I believe I may be catching the flu. My stomach hurts and I'm cold, I need to g-"

She cut me off. "We're on lock down, dear, I'm afraid I can't let you leave." I clutched my stomach and exited the school. Frantically, I ran into the parking lot and unlocked my car. Jamming my keys into the ignition, I said a quick prayer that my parents weren't inside the Towers. I left the school parking lot as if all of Gettysburg's cops were on my bumper.

At about 9:30 I arrived home and glued myself to the TV as if my very sanity depended on it… which, at this point, it did. I had still heard nothing by 3:30, when the phone rang. As I picked it up, I said another quick prayer before pressing talk. _Please, God_, I mumbled as tears rolled silently down my cheeks. _Let this call be one of them. Let them be okay…_ Then I answered it. "H-hello?" My voice shook.

"Kita?" It was Sharon. I sighed in relief. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I haven't heard anything yet."

"I'll tell you what…I'll be over in a few minutes. I can't stand it when you're in distress…"

"I'm fine, I-"

Sharon cut me off. "I'm coming over, Kita," she said with finality, and the line went dead.

...

My best friend and I spent the next few hours pacing… waiting by the phone… watching the news. Sharon went home around 9:30 to shower and grab a bit to eat, and by then I had still heard nothing. It was then that I thought of something… _their cell phones! _I half fell across the room to grab the phone. Quickly, I dialed my mom's cell number and bit my already bleeding lip as it rang.

Just as the voice mail was about to come on, someone picked up. "Hello?" It was a man's voice… but not my father's. Then I lost it.

"The towers… my parents are in New York City… where's my mom?" I was sobbing by now.

Someone in the background shouted, "Sergeant, there are two bodies over here… wait… they have their IDs!"

"Tell me their names, please," I practically screamed into the phone.

"Calm down now… let's see… the man's name is Daisuke Matsuyama…"

_Dad, no, _I thought in shock.

"…and the woman's name is Raven Matsuyama. It looks like they jumped from the tower before the second plane crashed into it."

The battery fell out of the phone when it hit the floor. I had passed out onto the couch.

End Part II


	4. Gun

Part III

Gun

When I woke, it was 9:30 the next morning. Losing both of my parents in the same day was reason enough to skip school, I decided. _Both of them… dead… _I thought as I began to cry again. _No… they're in a better place… and I'd like to join them there._

This I had never considered before… ending my own life. I walked, dreamlike, up the stairs and into my parents' room. Inside my father's dresser drawer I found what I sought… a loaded revolver. Since Japanese civilians aren't allowed to possess firearms, my dad took advantage of the privilege in America. He had kept it nearby just in case of a robbery.

As I recalled this tearfully, I raised the gun to my head… and someone knocked on the door. Quickly, I shoved the gun back into my dad's dresser and rushed downstairs to answer it. There, in the doorway stood three police officers and a news reporter from an international news station. "Hi," I said unemotionally, "can I help you with something?"

"Yes, Miss Matsuyama," one officer said, "a call from a cellular phone found at Ground Zero was traced to this location. If I'm not mistaken, it was with your parents' bodies…?"

"Yessir," I replied politely. "Come inside and sit everyone," I said, gesturing gently into the living room.

They said their thank-yous and sat down as the reporter began to speak. "I just wanted to ask you a few questions, Miss Matsuyama, if that's all right," she told me warmly.

"Of course," I replied and managed a weak smile. The camera man began to organize his equipment. For a couple of hours I was interviewed on live TV, a broadcast see worldwide. Among her questions, the reporter asked about my parents, my friends, school, my grades, and many other things.

They finally left and said their condolences as they did so, thanking me as well. I had temporarily forgotten about the gun, and fixed my empty stomach some lunch. Ramen happened to be the best thing I could find.

...

Sharon and I went shopping that evening and I returned to school the following morning, the 13th… the day they were supposed to return. Whispers about the broadcast and what had happened followed me down every hallway, but no questions were asked.

...

Several days passed, and during that time I was almost always with Sharon. She cheered me up, and was the only life in my soul at the time. Exactly one week after the interview, my life changed for the better… unfortunately, it was a life that did not involve Sharon.

End Part III


	5. Watari

Part IV

Watari

I woke up that Wednesday to another knock on the front door. Still numb from the deaths of my parents, I wasn't quite sure if I had heard the sound… or, being part Japanese, if their spirits were returning to me for some reason.

When I heard the sound again, I put on my robe and checked the time: six-thirty. _Oh, well, _I thought, _I have to get up anyway. Maybe it's Sharon. _Convinced this was the case, I rushed down the stairs to open the door… and on the front porch stood an elderly man I had never seen before.

"Hello, Kita," he said respectfully, and bowed.

"How do you know my name?" I had never met him before, so I was quite taken aback.

"I saw the broadcast on the news about you and your parents. I happened to be in the U.S. so I thought I would stop by. My name is Watari, and I have a proposal for you."

"Uhh…uhm… okay, come in," I stuttered in an attempt to be polite. "Could you excuse me for a moment while I change my clothes?"

"Of course," he replied with an unconcerned smile, "I have plenty of time."

I thanked him and walked upstairs to my room, locking the door behind me. _Watari… Watari…_ I thought as I changed, _where have I heard that name before?_ Then, as I combed my hair it hit me. "Watari is the only person in the world who has contact with L!" I covered up my mouth with my hands when I realized that I had said this aloud. Dropping my brush on the dresser, I ran downstairs to the living room once more.

"Are you all right, Kita?" Watari's expression was that of a concerned father.

"I'm sorry, Watari-san, I didn't know who you were at first!" I bowed in the traditional Japanese style of respect as I apologized.

He chuckled. "You are definitely Daisuke's daughter. He was always so respectful." I gasped. "Why do you look so surprised, Kita? I'm here as a favor to your father. We were good friends." He smiled as I continued to gape at him.

"Y-you knew my father? He never told me about you!" I was shocked and confused.

"I asked your father not to tell you of me, unless something was going to happen to him. Since he, lamentably, passed on I have to confront you myself. You see, I'd known him since he was about your age. He stayed at the orphanage when his parents died in a car accident. Sadly for myself, he left when he met your mother in London… an exquisite American beauty that he was head over heels for at first sight." Watari paused and smiled fondly at the memory of the two young lovers. "You see, Kita," he continued, "I have known you since you were a baby." But it didn't stop there. "My real name is Quillish Wammy but as I said, I would like for you to call me Watari… as L does."

"Y-you founded Wammy's House? My father lived there? He could have succeeded L! Why didn't he stay?" I continued to rant and bombard him with questions.

Watari gestured for me to stop. "Daisuke-chan came to the orphanage before L came, and before raising the detective's successors was my sole purpose. He also never met L." I wanted to interrupt, but he raised his right hand for me to stop. "Which," he continued, "is an opportunity I will give you if you so desire it."

I smiled then. For four years now, I had practically worshipped L but the chance to meet him was an opportunity very few had. To hide my excitement, I simply replied, "Of course I would like to meet L."

"You understand that you will have to move to England, and sell this house. You can never tell your friends or the rest of your family where you've gone," Watari told me severely. I thought about Sharon, and knew that she would understand. None of my other family members lived close enough to know or care if I disappeared. "There are some enchanting young children at the orphanage that will cheer you up as well," he said. I nodded a "yes" in his direction. "All right. To England then," Watari conceded with a smile. It was this decision that changed my life forever.

End Part IV


	6. Journey

**I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update. I have this story completely finished on my computer, it's just a matter of finding time to get all of the chapters up online. Anyway, enjoy! And as always, reviews, complaints, etc. are welcome and appreciated.**

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Part V

Journey

Watari explained everything to me on the way to the airport: how he would see to it that my parents' bank account and its contents would be transferred to me, that the money from the sale of the house would be as well. He had also advised me to leave a note for Sharon so she would know that I was moving. Watari then had me list the things I wanted to be taken from the house to the orphanage.

At about 6:30 pm on the 20th of September 2001, Watari and I arrived in London England. I was greeted there by magnificent stone towers, buildings and balustrades. Everywhere stood businessmen in fancy, black suits and teenaged girls dressed as I was: blue jeans and a t-shirt. London was a lively city, bustling with activity as an ant colony would be in mid-July.

As we took the main highway to the south out of the city in a fancy black Mercedes, Watari asked: "So, what did you think of London?"

"It's… amazing," I replied in awe. "I've always wanted to come here, but I never thought I'd get the chance." Then, I was reminded of a time, in my childhood, when my parents had gone to London on a business trip. I hadn't been allowed to go along because I was so young. As I fought back tears, Watari made an abrupt left turn. I quickly raised my head, startled. "Wow. The ride off of the highway sure turned to forest in a hurry," I commented to try and start a conversation.

"Wait until you see the location of the orphanage," Watari replied, and smiled.

...

About a half an hour later, Watari and I entered a cozy city. Average sized houses lined the clean streets, with the exception of a large, homely mansion that stood on a hill overlooking the rest of the small city. An ominous, coal-black metal gate and fence became visible as Watari drove up the lane leading to the large building which in turn stood like a guard tower against the woods to its back.

Watari then pulled his sleek, black Mercedes through the gate as it opened. Once he pulled the car into a garage and parked it, the famous inventor popped the trunk and removed my bags from it. Suddenly, the door leading from the garage into the mansion opened. There stood a seasoned man who may have been a decade or more younger than Watari. "Good day, Roger," Watari said, acknowledging the man with a smile. "I do hope everything went well in my absence…?"

The man called Roger smiled as well and began to speak. "Of course, Watari. All is well, unless you count Mello and Near's routine squabbles. Oh, and L has returned."

My heart leapt as Watari's smile broadened. "Excellent. I have just brought a new resident for him to meet. Roger, this is Kita." He gestured to me.

Roger stepped forward and took my hand to shake it. "Pleased to meet you," he told me happily.

"No, the pleasure is mine, Roger," I replied with a smile.

"Thank you, Kita." Roger then turned back to Watari. "I will go inside and prepare everyone to welcome her. Shall I allow you to introduce her to L?"

"Yes, thank you," Watari said as Roger left the room with a bow. The orphanage's founder then turned his attention to me. "Well, in we go!" He walked briskly toward the door through which Roger had entered. He ignored me when I protested against him carrying my bags as we walked through the door. The building was like a safe haven with a hard outer shell. Nervously, I stayed in the doorway and Watari turned to face me. "Come in, child," he said.

I was inside the building then, and the inside put the outer walls to shame. "It's so beautiful," I told Watari in awe as a I gawked at the large entryway and the polished oak staircase. On a wall beside the stairs was a portrait of Watari himself. He smiled upon the House like God smiles upon the earth.

"Come and meet the residents," Watari called warmly from the top of the steps. I had been so fascinated by the place that I hadn't noticed him walk up. Footsteps on the floor above piqued my curiosity. So, I nodded and followed him to the top.

A hallway with several doors on each side awaited me above. "Where do those doors lead?" I looked at Watari for an answer.

"The rooms of L's successors," he explained, "and some classrooms among other things."

"Now come to my office," Watari said, and led me through the large door at the end of the hall. Inside stood 17 children, all gathered around the large oak desk in the center of the room. All were chattering excitedly amongst themselves. "Children," Watari barked over the hum of their voices. All of the children stopped speaking and turned to face their caretaker. "Everyone, I would like you to meet Kita Matsuyama." He gestured to me. "She will be living with us for as long as she would like to, so please make her feel welcome. Now, I would like for all of you to introduce yourselves with your real names."

A brown-haired, Hispanic looking girl stepped forward and introduced herself as Maria. All of the other children introduced themselves as well, some of their names being James, Collin, Anna and… Sharon. I flinched when she introduced herself to me, but just as she finished Roger entered the room and called them all back for classes.

Watari turned to speak to Roger once more. "Where are the Three?"

End Part V


	7. Always

Part VI

Always

"I believe they may have gone to the rec. room. They finished classes just before you arrived."

"Thank you for your trouble, Roger, I will go and find them in a moment." Roger left the room. "But first," Watari continued as he turned to the desk with his eyes upon the chair behind it that faced the window, "Ryuzaki, this is Kita Matsuyama."

I jumped when the chair spun around. In it sat a tall, black-haired man not much older than myself at the time. Ryuzaki's hair was shaggy and unkempt, and he wore a white long-sleeved shirt and baggy blue jeans. Clearly he was someone who had no concern with his appearance.

"Pleased to meet you at last, Kita. Welcome," he said warmly, but without a smile. That was when I noticed his black eyes as they stared at me coldly.

"I shall leave you two to converse while I go and find those boys." Watari saw Ryuzaki's expression and frowned. Realization sparkled in his eyes. "L, please be kind to her. She has just lost her parents." That said, Watari exited through the door leading into the hallway.

_Wait, _I thought, _this guy is L? But he's so… different…_

"What is wrong, Kita?" L gave me a look of mocking concern.

"Nothing," I replied, trying to smile. "I'm just glad to have finally met you, L."

L's angry façade faded and he was taken aback. "Likewise, Kita," he stammered. L then stood up and walked reluctantly over to me. He grudgingly grabbed my right hand and kissed the back of it. His lips were cool upon my skin. "Could you do me a favor, Kita?" He then turned away which upset me slightly. I nodded as he continued. "Please, call me Ryuzaki, not L. Not everyone needs to know who I am."

"A-all right then. Ryuzaki it is!"

He turned to face me again, a distressed look in his eyes. "So, you lost your parents in the Towers?" This question was random and threw me off guard.

"Y-yes," I mumbled as I tried to keep from crying again.

"Watari and all of us will help you recover… and don't be afraid to cry. I will understand, for I lost my own parents at the age of eight."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Ryuzaki," was all I could think of to say to him.

"It was more than sixteen years ago. The pain has gone numb within me now, for I do not even remember them."

"I see," I choked out as I tried not to think of my own parents so recently lost. "So, uh, do you live here all the time? I mean, surely you have a fiancé or something?" I blurted out the last question without thinking.

Ryuzaki gave me an angry stare in reply. "No, I do not live here all the time, Kita-chan. I travel to wherever it is I must go to solve a case."

_He's addressing me as a child,_ I seethed in my mind with a frown.

Suddenly, his gaze fell from mine. "A fiancé, however," he continued almost sadly, "I do not have. As L, I have never had time to meet or even think about women. Besides… I will probably not live a full life as most would expect me to so," he paused. "What's the point?" This last line was an outburst sigh, and it surprised me. Ryuzaki ignored my petrified expression and sipped coffee from a cup on the desk. It looked to be so full of sugar it was paste and I grimaced. "I suppose you're engaged?" He looked amused now, over the rim of his white glass coffee cup. Then, he quickly but gracefully sat it down.

I must have looked at him as if he'd slapped me in the face. His voice turned menacing as he spoke. "That is why you asked me, correct? To rub it in that you have a fiance and I, in fact, do not?"

"No, I was just curious…" _Please, Watari, hurry up and get in here,_ I thought. _This conversation is too awkward for a first meeting. _

Much to my relief, Watari entered the room followed by three boys: one had hair the color of snow, another was blonde, and the third was a ginger. They stared at me with curiosity, and turned to speak with each other in hushed voices.

"Boys," Watari said, "I would like you to meet Kita. She is going to be staying with us for awhile. Please be kind to her, for she has just lost her parents."

They all mumbled their greetings shyly. The ginger-haired one stepped forward. "My real name is Mail, but you can just call me Matt," he said cheekily. "This," Matt continued by indicating the blonde child, "is Mihael, but he prefers to be called Mello. He's the oldest, and Near, is the youngest."

The white-haired one called Near nodded and spoke. "My real name is Nate." His voice was soft and feminine, but rang with an air of superiority.

"These are L's successors," Watari told me. "They only wish to be called by their aliases of course. You will need one as well, Kita, once you travel abroad."

"My alias can be Crymson Rose," I told Watari.

"Of course," Watari replied warmly. "For now we need to put you in a room…" he stopped speaking and thought for a few moments. Ryuzaki's eyes flickered to Watari and then to me. I returned his gaze with a glare, which he returned. Then, seeming unperturbed, the detective raised his dark-rimmed eyes to the ceiling and childishly bit his thumb. I continued to glare at him until Watari began to speak. "Since Ryuzaki has an empty futon in his room, and he will probably be leaving on another case soon, you can share his room," he said triumphantly.

Both of us shouted protests at poor Watari, who said: "I'm afraid there is no other option. It is too expensive to build on just one room. The two of you will just have to learn to get along."

Just as I left the room in a huff, I heard Ryuzaki's comment: "Then I will pay for it," he hissed venomously.

End Part VI


	8. Mello

Part VII

Mello

Tears of anger pricked the corners of my eyes as I wandered down the hall. Mello stood before me and looked up at me with sympathy when he saw the tears in my eyes. "Don't worry about him, Kita," he said with a smile. "He's never acted like this before, but I know he'll come around. Come on. Lemme show you the rest of the house." Mello told me the locations of two bathrooms, Watari's bedroom and bath, and the kitchen. There were also some classrooms and study areas and the rec. room Watari mentioned. One of my favorite features was a balcony with a beautiful view of the forest land out back. Last, Mello showed me the room he shared with Matt. Mello's side was very neat, not a single toy or article of clothing on the pale grey carpet. His trash can was full of chocolate bar wrappers. Matt's side, however, was cluttered. Videogames littered the floor and three or four game systems were stacked in the corner. A PlayStation 2 was hooked up to a television on Matt's dresser.

As I was looking around, Mello walked over to a toy chest in the closet on "his" side of the room, and pulled out a smaller box. He sat it on the bed beside me and opened it to show me the contents. "These are my favorite toys." Inside it was a plethora of plastic toy soldiers. "Sometimes I simulate battles. It's a strategy game for me, really." he explained with pride.

Mello's open closet contained an array of toy guns and other things involving them. The young boy seemed to be happy that he could share his interests with me. So for awhile, I was Mello's opponent in a battle with his toy soldiers. It turned into an actual game before long, and I temporarily forgot about Ryuzaki's mysterious problem.

The blonde boy's mood changed, however, when I allowed my curiosity to take over. "So, when will you succeed L?"

Mello left go of his soldiers and turned away from me. "I'm second to Near at everything. **He's** the first to succeed L. I don't care if he's smarter than me, I just want to prove to the world I can be someone. I want to protect it like L does!" The poor boy's dejected mood began to rub off on me, and I felt the need to cry once more.

However, I ignored that desire and said to Mello: "You can save the world someday! Maybe you and Near should try to get along and become friends. They say there's always safety in numbers. You can protect each other and the world… after all, sometimes the bitterest of enemies can become friends. Trust me, I know."

I told Mello about Sharon and how we weren't always the best of friends.

_In fact, we were worst enemies when we first met in 9__th__ grade. Unbeknownst to the two of us then, we had a crush on the same guy. His name was Brandon Sakir, and he didn't seem to notice either of us until the first school dance of that year. _

_Sharon and I were off with our own groups of friends when Brandon walked over to me. We talked for awhile, when he asked, 'Do you want to dance, Kita?'_

'_Yes,' I replied as I blushed. So, the two of us danced for a couple of songs. _

'_I have to go to the bathroom,' Brandon said then and I returned to my friends while I awaited his return. About ten minutes later, I was getting bored and tired of scanning the crowd for him. I happened to glance at Sharon, and she and Brandon were dancing. Even though I liked Brandon, I didn't yet officially consider him my boyfriend. However, that still didn't stop me from being angry when I saw him with my worst enemy. Until the end of the dance, my friends and I waited for Brandon to come back over. Instead, it was Sharon who came over to us. 'I saw you dancing with Brandon,' she said, 'I just came over to make sure you weren't his date.' _

_I was shocked. 'No, he's not my date," I told her, ' I do like him, though.' Oddly, instead of fighting __**over**__ Brandon, we ganged up __**on **__him for two-timing. That's how Sharon and I became besties. _

Mello smiled at me as I finished the example from my past. "Thanks, Kita," he said. "I'll think about what you've told me, but it's my turn to get a shower." He walked over to his small oak dresser and pulled out a few clothes. I could see just under some of them a large stash of chocolate candy bars. I chuckled. Mello frowned. "What?"

"It's nothing," I told him with a smile.

Mello returned the smile as he opened the door to walk out of the room. "Oh, and Kita," the blonde boy said without turning around, "thanks again." He closed the door tightly behind himself.

"Sure," I whispered. He was already gone.

End Part VII


	9. Music

Part VIII

Music

I walked to the room that was L's to find all of the belongings I had brought with me.

The room itself was a simple square shape with plain, ice blue walls and pale white carpet. The small oak computer desk in the back left corner held a fancy computer, and the storage tower beside it was loaded with cds. The chair looked extremely comfortable, but I changed my mind when I saw the bed: a queen-sized four poster with four pillows, two for sleeping and two for decoration. It was neatly made as if it hadn't been used in forever. Or, maybe it had never been used.

I shuddered. The last thing on my list of priorities was learning about Ryuzaki's personal history. _After all, _I thought, _he's a rich detective and he probably lives the life of a rock star. _

During further exploration, I found a walk in closet filled with dusty clothes and shoes. Most of the clothing still had the tags on… designer tags. Of course. I shouldn't have expected any less.

Then, a new wave of curiosity hit me. I shut the closet and peeked out of the bedroom door to make sure no one was watching me, and I flitted over to the rack of cds. They weren't dusty like the clothing in the closet, which meant Ryuzaki must have used them often. _Now I'm investigating you, L_, I thought. _Let's see what you listen to. _I made a mental note of each as I glanced at the sides: Bon Jovi, System of a Down, Disturbed, Metallica, AC/DC, Ozzy Osbourne, Sublime, Coldplay, Korn, and Dir en Grey just to name a few. Then I gasped when I saw Cradle of Filth.

_Wow, _I thought, _for an idiot he has great taste in music._

I was about to continue my "investigation" when I heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. Slowly, I turned around. In the doorway stood the last person I wanted to see. "Ryuzaki." I acknowledged him emotionlessly.

"Why are you in my room, Kita?" He shuffled over to me, his expression menacing.

"Correction, Ryuzaki… **our **room. And I just wanted to see what type of music you listen to is all."

"I see," he replied with a glare. "So you think that just because Watari said you were to stay in here that you suddenly own the place?" His onyx eyes betrayed him, as they were full of interest. "What do you think of what you see?" Ryuzaki's gaze was scrutinizing.

"I-it's great," I admitted shyly. "I like most of it."

The mysterious detective didn't respond, but instead walked over to sit on his bed. I raised an eyebrow at Ryuzaki, but he just crossed his legs and clasped his fingers. "Which is your favorite?" His voice was silky, yet rough at the same time.

"Disturbed… and Dir en Grey," I told him. "You?"

"I like them all equally," the detective replied absentmindedly.

"I'm quite surprised that you listen to Cradle of Filth, though," I commented. "Are you gothic?"

"No. Can one not listen to gothic music without being gothic?"

I shrugged. "I do, so apparently."

"Fair enough," he mumbled as he aloofly chewed on his right thumb.

I rolled my eyes. _Such a weirdo, _I thought, _but he does have a good taste in music. Why do I even hate him in the first place?_ "Uhm, Ryuzaki?"

"Yes, Kita?"

I placed Ryuzaki's cds back in the storage tower and then shoved my clothes bag under the futon across the room as I spoke. "I-I'm sorry about earlier, but I swear I didn't mean to offend you. I was just curious. Forgive me?"

L looked down at me, his ebony eyes narrowed to slits. "What exactly are you trying to do, Kita? Five minutes ago I would have sworn on my life that you hated me," Ryuzaki mused.

Without unfolding the futon, I flopped upon it on my back and allowed my expression to fall to a frown. "Oh, well. So much for my gesture of peace." I sighed, then mumbled, "Sharon was right. Men really are heartless."

Ryuzaki glared at me with pained eyes and hissed, "I may be different, Kita, but don't ever assume I am heartless." I couldn't help but blush at the smoothness of his voice. However, I blinked and he had left the room.

After a few moments of boredom, I popped a random Disturbed album into the large stereo upon the computer desk. After listening to it for awhile, I climbed off of the futon again to peer outside through the closed black curtains. Darkness. I checked my watch. 9:45. I decided to finish the song that was playing and sing along:

_I can hear the voice but I don't want to listen_

_strap me down and tell me I'll be all right._

_I can feel the subliminal need to be one with the voice_

_and make everything all right…_

I smiled as I sang, growing tired. _Voices is a great song,_ I thought as I shut the stereo off with its remote. I carelessly laid it on the floor beside the futon and fell into a dreamless sleep.

End Part VIII


	10. Conflict

Part IX

Conflict

I awoke when I heard someone swear under their breath. When I opened my eyes, I saw two figures standing within the room. The smallest of the pair was a child, and Ryuzaki was obviously the other.

"How many times to I have to tell you tonight alone, Mello, that you need to sleep in your own room?!"

"But the wind is so loud," the little blonde boy protested. "I can't fall asleep."

"Not tonight, okay? I have work to do," Ryuzaki whispered with finality.

"Why? Are you planning to do naughty things to Kita?"

No response. I wasn't sure if my face was hot from anger or if I was blushing. "No," Ryuzaki growled violently, "now get out!" The door clicked silently as Mello shut the door morosely behind him. "I'm sorry about that, Kita," Ryuzaki whispered as he crouched on the floor beside my futon.

I startled the poor detective when I rolled over to face him. "Why didn't you answer him right away when he asked…" I couldn't even finish the question.

Ryuzaki snickered darkly. "Pay no mind to me. Mello merely startled me with such a question. Trust me, I am no pervert." He stood and walked over to the bed and sat down. "Besides," he continued, "that's not something I'm planning anytime soon with anyone," he snarled bitterly as he motioned for me to sit beside him.

Mechanically, I accepted the offer. "What is it?" The nervousness in my voice was obvious.

"I heard what happened to your parents," Ryuzaki whispered, "and I'm sorry."

"It's fine," I replied, surprised at his sudden kindness.

"I can understand how you feel," the detective continued, "for, as I said, I have been an orphan for most of my life."

"I'm new to the whole orphan business so we can cope with our demons together," I murmured uncertainly. _Wait… what am I saying? _"Wait… how old are you?"

"I'm 21. You?" Ryuzaki's eyes shimmered in the moonlight as he waited for my reply.

"I turned 18 on August 21st," I told him.

"Heh, heh." The detective laughed quietly. "No one harassed you in school then."

I smiled. "That was one nice thing about having a birthday in the summer."

Ryuzaki chuckled again. "Sucks for me. I was born in October. Halloween to be precise."

"I like Halloween," I whispered, "it's so much fun to dress up and pretend to be someone you're not."

I received no response for several moments, and when I opened my mouth to speak again the detective cut me off. "Do you like it here so far?" He was way off topic again; this seemed to be one of his greatest talents. Of course, a detective probably had to be able to quickly change the subject sometimes if he or she wants to save their head.

"Yes, I do actually. You and your successors are quite…" I thought before I continued. "Interesting."

"What do you mean by that? I do hope you're not being rude," Ryuzaki murmured.

I decided to play around a little since he was being friendly. "Yeah, okay, fine I'm being rude," I said sarcastically.

"Heh… two can play at that game. What would you say, Kita, if I told you that I had the 'terrorists' crash those planes into to the World Trade Center to kill your parents… who were the **real **terrorists?"

I lost it then. Tears of rage streamed down my face as I stood… I wanted to hit the vain detective. Through my blurred vision, I saw Ryuzaki rise as well. I raised my fist to strike him, but he moved his head abruptly to the side and held me by my shoulders. His eyes were darkened by anger as they met mine. I went rigid in stupefaction momentarily, then pushed Ryuzaki away from myself hard. He landed on his back upon the bed, and laughed silently.

"You are quite right to want to hit me for that Kita," he said smiling. "That **was** rude. I do hope you will forgive me."

"Sorry, Ryuzaki," I whispered as angrily as my shaking voice could manage, " I don't know if I can."

"Fair enough," he conceded. The moonlight illuminated his pale face, revealing what I later realized to be a wistful look within his eyes. "I'll leave you to sleep." With that he gracefully left the room; the door clicked shut silently behind him. I threw myself upon the bed and seethed for awhile before I finally fell asleep.

End Part IX


	11. Encounter

Part X

Encounter

For the next week I didn't see much of Ryuzaki, and I was feeling remorse for the end of our last conversation. When I confronted Watari about the detective's absence, he merely replied, "L is preparing to depart on a case, and I must soon join him. I do hope you will help Roger keep things in order with the successors while I'm gone?" Then he placed a hand upon my shoulder and smiled as he left the room.

I decided to visit the city of Winchester before the two departed in order to satisfy my curiosity. Magnificent medieval buildings dotted a few of the streets; people shot me fleeting glances as they passed, probably leery at the sight of a foreigner.

My first visit was uneventful, but my second trip to Winchester changed my new life entirely. I entered a small coffee house not far from an elaborate medieval building, and noticed someone from my past, all too familiar. "Kita?" Brandon Sakir stared at me in awe. "What are you doing here?"

I hesitated, unsure of what to say. "Visiting friends of my parents." I told him a partial lie casually. "You?"

Brandon was silent momentarily, and he lowered his eyes away from mine. "I'm here as a foreign exchange student. It was still early in the year, so they allowed me to transfer."

"I see," I replied and sat down across from him.

"So how come Sharon was telling everyone you **moved** over here?" I hesitated, caught off guard once more. Brandon slowly stood. "What's going on, Kita? There's something you're not telling me."

"I-I still didn't decide if I'm moving over here with them or not…I have to take some time to think about it and figure out if I will like it or not," I replied briskly.

"I see," was his response. _Whew, _I thought with relief,_ he believed me._ "Well, I need to get going. School stuff, you know?" Brandon's smile was like that of an angel as he wrote down his cell phone number for me. In return, I handed him mine and left the coffee shop that day with mixed feelings: happiness because my life was somewhat returning to the way it was before, and apprehension… he couldn't find out the real reason that I was in England.

...

I arrived at the orphanage around 7 that evening. Upon entering the massive building, I was greeted by loud shouts and crying. Near ran through the entrance hall from a side door in tears and Mello came after him shortly in a rage. "It's my turn to take a shower, Near, Watari's schedule said so!" Near sat upon the large Victorian rug in the center of the floor and continued to sob. Taking a closer look, I noticed a bruise upon his cheek.

"Hey!" My shout caused the feuding boys to spin around quickly; Mello gazed, frightened, in my direction. "What is going on?" The anger in my voice silenced what ever Mello had been planning to say.

"I couldn't find Mr. Wammy's schedule saying who got into the shower first so I decided that I was going to get in because I'm tired, when Mello came in and started to scream at me. When I told him I was ready to get in, he tried to shove me aside. I tried to fight back but he punched me in the eye," Near mumbled slowly.

"Is this true, Mello?" He was about to speak, but he stopped and refused to look me in the eye. "Near, go and get in the shower… Mello… go to your room until I go find Roger."

The two boys obeyed, and I went upstairs to Watari's office to look for the caretaker. The chair was empty since the departure of Ryuzaki and Watari the night before, but I had expected to see Roger there anyhow. I searched the desk for the phone number the orphanage's founder had told me to call if a problem should occur, but instead found a note:

_Kita,_

_Keep an eye on the boys. I had to go into London on business, so _

_I will not be returning for at least a week. Ryuzaki has_

_delayed his departure on the recent case in order to await my return._

_He should be in the orphanage most of the day; check in his room, _

_at the computer._

_Signed,_

_Watari_

_Wow, _I thought, _I wonder what happened… _Below the note I found that it was, in fact, Mello's turn to shower first. Whether Near had known this or not, I am still unsure of to this day.

...

Within a few moments I had handled the problem between Mello and Near, and set off to find Ryuzaki, who was supposed to be watching them in the first place. I followed Watari's advice and checked the detective's room first. "Ryuzaki," I said as I peeked in, "where…" I paused when I noticed that the computer was on, but he was not seated in his chair.

When I walked in I saw that Ryuzaki was lying on his large bed, tightly wrapped in the covers. His eyes were closed as if he were asleep. _Wait a second, _I thought, _Watari told me that L never sleeps. Something must be wrong._ My heart pounded as I quietly walked over to sit by his side. A small amount of sweat was collected on his brow, so I placed my hand upon it.

Ryuzaki stirred restlessly in his sleep, burning with fever. His eyes opened upon my touch. "Kita? Heh… long time, no speak," he said quietly.

"Are you all right?"

He gave me a small, fake smile. "Just a bit of a fever, that's all," he replied nonchalantly with a wave of his hand.

"I'll get you some Tylenol," I said with finality as he began to protest. So, I returned from an excavation under the futon with the medication. "Now let's see," I said aloud as I pulled myself from beneath my sleeping place, "Ryuzaki, are you under 12 years of age?"

The detective smiled quizzically at me and replied, "No, I told you last week I was 21."

"I know," I giggled as I handed him a water bottle, and the two pills.

Still smiling a little, Ryuzaki placed his hot and shaky hand upon mine in a friendly gesture. "Why are you doing this for me after I've treated you so rudely?"

I rolled my eyes. "Watari told me to take care of things while he was gone. That included you, I assume."

"Thank you," he whispered as he rolled over onto his side and shortly afterward, fell asleep.

...

After a boring half-hour of watching Ryuzaki sleep, I decided to take a peek at the computer. Many messages popped up as I watched the screen in silence, and my curiosity was about to get the better of me once more. Of course, all my curiosity had done so far was get me into trouble. However, at the time I didn't think of this.

Cautiously, I read some of the messages.

_I've hacked into your computer at last, L, _said one.

_What's the matter? Are you afraid of me? Afraid your black curtain is no longer enough to hide you?_ The sender continued to make threats.

_I'm going to find your location and personally dispose of you. Just a bit more hacking, and you're done for._

L hadn't responded to any of these, though I was almost certain he had seen them, and the messages infuriated me… unfortunately, the sender had no screen name.

End Part X


	12. Jeopardy

Part XI

Jeopardy

**Who is this? **I punched at the keys quickly.

**You'll find out soon enough, **the anonymous stalker replied.

**Hmmmm… male or female? **I decided to start out with simple questions in hopes that the pest would accidentally reveal some information.

**Enough of the mind games, L**_**,**_was the response. **It was cake to find your e-mail address, so it should be just as simple if not more so to hack completely into your computer and find your location. **

**This computer is loaded with virus scans, spam blockers, and fire walls… good luck**_, _I taunted sarcastically.

**It's easy for someone like me, **they countered. **I have a superior education, perhaps even beyond yours.**

**I doubt that, **I shot back. **You're probably just some stupid high school kid that's convinced he's a super-genius. Nice try, punk. Case solved.**

**On the contrary. I'm just the opposite of a high school student. I have several people dead-set on bringing you down, and we're getting closer every day. **Conceited much?

**What do you hope to bring about by doing that? The downfall of this earth? Pathetic. I will tell you this much, however… I will never fall no matter what. **I was certain this would end the mind match.

**No, I shall take your life and your title in order to rule this world from behind the scenes as you do now. The world's police forces will be under my control; government agencies will bow before me. The funny thing is… no one will know you have been replaced. **I was startled by the stalker's goal and the fact that he or she had revealed it to me.

_I should wake Ryuzaki now,_ I told myself, but decided against it due to his sudden illness. I sighed. _I'll just have to handle this for him._

**That won't happen, **I replied. **You still don't know where I am. And, by the time you find me I will already have disappeared. **

I waited a few moments after sending the message, and when no replies came, I copied the conversation to a word document and saved it; then, I shut down the computer. _Who could be doing this and why? Are there really people out there that want L dead just for that reason? _My mind continued to wander aimlessly. I was startled out of my reverie, however, when L suddenly moved slightly on the bed. I spun around on the chair quickly.

Ryuzaki was facing me, but his eyes were closed peacefully. The bruises beneath them had already begun to fade, although the detective hadn't been sleeping for more than an hour.

Out of curiosity, I wheeled the computer chair over to Ryuzaki's bedside. I pressed the back of my left hand to his forehead to find that his body temperature had returned to normal; he muttered something inaudible in his sleep at my touch.

I yawned and checked my watch- 11:45. _It is __**kinda **__late, _I thought as I watched L sleep. At some point, I drifted into unconsciousness.

...

Bright sunshine poked at my eyelids, which I opened without thinking. "Aargh," I groaned as I covered my eyes with my arm.

"Ah, you're awake," a husky voice murmured.

"Hmm?" I opened one eye slightly.

Ryuzaki was crouched at the end of his bed, watching me sternly. He gave me a small smile when I looked up at him. The bags under the detective's eyes had completely vanished, and the onyx jewels sparkled within their sockets. "You fell asleep on my computer chair," Ryuzaki explained mockingly as he leapt gracefully off of his bed with his hands in his pockets. "So, when I awoke this morning I put you on your futon."

"Oh, yeah. Now I remember," I mumbled. It all came flooding back: L's fever, the messages and the threats they contained.

"Is something wrong, Kita?" I jumped. His face was inches from mine.

"Uhm n-no," I stuttered meekly. "It's just that there was someone threatening you… they came over the messenger in your computer and said they were gonna kill you and take your title and…" I rushed over to the computer and opened the document to show it to the flabbergasted detective. I pretended not to notice the free-flowing tears that gushed from my eyes at the thought of my hero's death, no matter how rude he had been.

L shuffled over to the computer. "You shouldn't have responded to them," he growled as he skimmed the page. "Now this location can be traced! We're all in trouble!" Ryuzaki shut the computer down and walked swiftly from the room, slamming the door behind him. I proceeded to lock it, and thought as I changed my clothes.

_This is all my fault. I should probably just leave._ I decided that was best, so I dried my eyes and grabbed my purse and wallet from my duffel bag. I paused as another thought came to me. _No. I'll just find out who's sending the messages. I put everyone here in danger, so it's up to me to get them out… even at the cost of my life._

...

I was driving to the coffee shop downtown to clear my head, when my cell phone rang. It was Brandon. "Hello?"

"Hey, Kita," he replied. "Are you doing anything this afternoon?"

"No, but I was just heading to the coffee shop. Why?"

"I… do you wanna meet there and just call it a date?"

I blushed. "S-sure. I'll be there in about five minutes. See you then." I closed my phone. _He is cute, _I told myself. _I can't deny that. I guess it's okay…_

...

I arrived at the coffee shop on time. Brandon sat at the same table we had sat when we first met in Winchester a month ago; we had only talked twice since then.

"So how are things?" I sat down across from him at the booth. "Have you decided to stay?" Brandon's eyes danced eagerly as he waited for me to respond.

"I'm still not sure," I replied with a smile. "This place has its ups and downs and I still have school to finish, so…" My breath caught in my throat after I spoke.

"Where are you schooling at now?" A waitress came over, and Brandon ordered a cappuccino for each of us. She scurried off then, after an unsuccessful attempt at flirting with him.

"I'm going to a private school," I replied, after thinking about his question. It wasn't a lie since I had been receiving classes at Wammy's.

"Where? I could pick you up after school sometime," he offered hopefully.

"That's why its called a **private **school," I told him with a flirtatious smile.

"Right," he said, returning the smile. "I was wondering… if you wanted to be my girlfriend," Brandon blurted suddenly.

"Of course," I answered as I leaned across the table and kissed him. The waitress came around the corner just then with our cappuccinos.

Her expression fell at the sight of our kiss. "J-just let me know if you need anything else." That said, she walked away stiffly. Brandon and I laughed.

End Part XI


	13. Bonds

Part XII

Bonds

I returned to Wammy's House at about seven that night. After taking a hot bath and shaving my legs, I entered the room I shared with Ryuzaki. I was wearing my favorite pajamas-black fuzzy pants with a short, red, spaghetti strapped tank- and when I entered the room I noticed a red tinge on the detective's cheeks.

L sat at the computer, but closed what he was doing and shut it down when I entered. "Where have you been?" His tone was angry and demanding. He turned around on the chair to look at me darkly.

"I was on a date," I replied as I pulled my wet black hair into a ponytail.

"With who?" Ryuzaki stuffed a sugar cube into his mouth and sucked on it loudly.

I sat on my futon. "An old friend from school. He transferred here as a foreign exchange student. His name is Brandon Sakir, and he's my boyfriend now." For some reason, I tasted something foul in my mouth.

There was a long pause. "I see," the detective replied. I raised an eyebrow at him. "What? Do you want me to congratulate you or something?"

I ignored his comment. "Did you straighten everything out with whoever was threatening you?"

"Yes I did, actually. It is impossible for the individual to hack into any of the computers here, but I must ask you not to use mine again," he replied quickly.

I shrugged, and wondered what he could be hiding. "Of course. Look… I'm sorry about what I did. I was hoping I could get some info out whoever it was, buy all I found out was their intentions."

L gestured for me to stop speaking. "I understand, Kita," he replied, "but next time you go out on a limb, don't climb out so far that it could break." The detective left the room, allowing my thoughts to wander.

(Time Skip)

About two weeks later, I had been to Brandon's home more than five times. L asked me several questions about our relationship; did we date before? How long had we known each other? Those sorts of questions.

"Have you found out who was threatening you yet? Just wondered," I asked him that same day.

"No, I haven't," he told me calmly. Both of us sat on the bed, Ryuzaki on the pillows against the headboard and I at the footboard. "The messages have stopped, so apparently he or she has given up."

"What a relief," I breathed with a smile. "I was afraid I screwed up bad."

"We all make mistakes," Ryuzaki told me. "Everything is fine." The detective had been somewhat kinder to me since I helped him when he was sick, and even more so when I started dating Brandon.

"That's good to hear."

(Time Skip)

The next day, L had to leave on a case. Matt, Mello, Near, Roger, the other children and I saw him and Mr. Watari off. I gave each of them a hug and wished them good luck.

(Time Skip)

After that day, I didn't see L for six or seven months. The detective continued to travel on cases, Brandon and I continued to get closer, and Mello and Near continued to fight.

I finished school two months early, since Wammy's House was always ahead of the regular system.

For Christmas, there was a play put on by some of the children in the House. Those who watched enjoyed it, especially at the end when Santa Claus (aka Roger) came to hand out presents. Mine was a silver heart-shaped locket from L that had 'Goodbye is not forever' carved on the inside.

When Brandon noticed the locket I told him about Ryuzaki, but not as L… merely a classmate I was good friends with. I described to my lover some of the comical fights we had had, and his never-explained dislike for me when we first met. Brandon's only response was nodding and smiling.

After I finished, he said, "Kita, I've been meaning to ask you something." Brandon stood up. "Now I know we haven' t been dating long, but…" he got down on one knee. "Kita Matsuyama, will you marry me?"

I stood up as well, tears pooling in the corners of my eyes. "Yes, Brandon," I kissed him passionately on the lips, as we parted ways for the night. I smiled as I walked back toward the orphanage, a shiny white diamond glistening on my left ring finger.

(Time Skip)

I entered what was now, temporarily, my room in a state of bliss…to find Ryuzaki sitting on the queen sized bed reading a book. His expression was unreadable as he closed the book and looked up at me. "Now where have you been? I finally come back to visit and you disappear on me, Kita." His tone was the friendliest I had ever heard it as he stood and shuffled over to hug me.

"I was drinking coffee" I replied as I hugged him back. We parted our embrace. "I got your present," I continued happily as I showed Ryuzaki the locket. He smiled. "What does it mean?"

"You'll understand in time," he replied emotionlessly. "So, how are things with Brandon?" There was a touch of venom in his voice.

"We're… engaged now," I choked out silently. _Why is that so hard to tell him…to admit it to myself?_

"I see," the detective replied. At the time, I saw all of the life drain from his ebony eyes; the dark, abysmal pits that they became, but I didn't say anything. "Congratulations. Now what if I told you that he knows who was threatening me?"

Anger boiled in my blood instantly. "What the hell are you saying? That's ridiculous!"

Ryuzaki smiled. "Kita, you know I didn't mean that," he said laughingly, though his eyes were still empty. "I just wanted to see your reaction."

I reached out to punch him in the chest, but he jumped to the side easily. Ryuzaki grabbed my shoulders. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, Kita," he said pleadingly.

I shrugged him off, but not angrily. "It's fine," I replied. "Look, Ryuzaki… I'll still come to visit, I promise, but I think it's best if I don't live here any longer," I told him gently.

"I understand… you have a fiancé now," Ryuzaki replied in a whisper. "Please… take care of yourself, for me, okay?" His ebony eyes deadened once more.

"Remember, Ryuzaki," I whispered back as I held up the locket he had given me, "Goodbye is not forever." With that said, I picked up my duffel bag and left the room, saying goodbye to each of the children, Watari, and Roger before I exited the building. I couldn't get Ryuzaki's pleading face out of my mind as I drove toward Brandon's house, unstoppable tears flowing down my cheeks.

End Part XII


	14. Betrayed

PartXIII

Betrayed

A month passed and Brandon and I decided to schedule the wedding for the following summer of 2003. During this time I visited Ryuzaki as often as possible, and helped with cases as whenever I could. One evening, Brandon and I were sitting on the couch in our half of the divided house watching a movie, when my cell phone rang. My fiancé paused the movie as I stood to take the call. The number came up unknown. "Hello?"

It was Ryuzaki. "Kita, I need you to come over. It's urgent."

"Ok, I'll be there," I replied as I turned to Brandon. "I'll be back in an hour; there's a problem."

"Ryuzaki?" Brandon gave me that heartbreaking angel smile.

"Yeah. I'll be home soon." I kissed him on the lips, grabbed my purse, and left.

(Time Skip)

I arrived to find Wammy's in disarray; besides the silence that greeted me upon my arrival, there was a layer of dust on the stair rail. "Kita?" Ryuzaki called from somewhere upstairs.

"Yeah," I replied, "it's me."

No answer. So, I went upstairs to the detective's room to find him sitting on the futon I once slept upon. "Hi," I said as I placed my purse on his bed.

Ryuzaki nodded. "Kita."

"What do you need? What's wrong?" I sat by his side on the futon.

"Wammy's has recently had a death. When my original first successor found out Near was to replace him, he couldn't take the pressure of trying to surpass him again. So…"

I cut him off. "So he…" I paused and looked at Ryuzaki in horror.

"Committed suicide, yes," he finished silently and bowed his head. The detective's jet black hair fell over his lifeless eyes; I brushed it back from his face with my left index finger and then lifted Ryuzaki's chin to link his gaze with mine. I smiled halfheartedly.

"Maybe it's best that he didn't take your place then; the pressure could have been too great. These things happen, but I know you've made the right decision," I reassured him. Ryuzaki gave me a warm smile in return; it sent a wave of shock down my spine and I froze.

The detective frowned. "Is something wrong, Kita?"

"N-no I'm fine. Uhm… are you?"

"Yes I am, thanks to you." Ryuzaki paused thoughtfully as he chewed on his thumb. His eyes wandered to the digital clock on the computer. "You know, Kita, it's getting late. I don't think you should drive home. Why don't you stay here and sleep on your futon… for old time's sake?"

_He sure is sweet, _I thought with a smile, _but Brandon…_ "I really should get home. Thank you, though." I gave Ryuzaki a hug; the headstrong and stubborn detective melted into my embrace for an instant. Before I wished it were so, the moment was over. "I'll visit again soon, I promise." I stood and left the room, a strange pain ravaging my insides as I exited without a backward glance.

(Time Skip)

When I arrived at home, all of the lights were of in the half of the house Brandon and I shared. That is, all but the bedroom. However, I reached to open the front door to find it locked. _How strange, _I thought. _He knew I would be home soon…_ So, I took out my key, opened the door and stepped inside.

When I climbed the stairs and entered the bedroom, I found Brandon lying upon our bed… kissing a black-haired woman I had never seen before.

End Part XIII


	15. Over

_Part____XIV_

_Over_

_I gasped in surprise; so did the unknown woman. Brandon stood, staring at me with wide eyes. "Kita, I can explain…"_

"_HOW COULD YOU?!" He stepped back from me. However, I stepped forward and pushed Brandon hard against a wall. The frightened girl who had been with him slipped out quietly and left. _

"_Kita… I…"_

"_Enough of your lies," I said, anger and sobs shaking my entire body. I punched him hard in the face. "All of this time I trusted you and… it's just like we're in high school again."_

"_But you're still…"_

_I cut him off. "I finished school early."_

_Brandon's face became angry suddenly. He loosened my grip that was holding him to the wall and shoved me backward. "So that's where you were all of this time… you went to school with that Ryuzaki freak that you always talk about, who I've never even met! I'm not the only one that's a cheater, Kita!" A rage I had never seen before burned his crystallic blue eyes. _

"_Brandon I wasn't…"_

"_Don't lie to me, Kita. Look, if you tell me the truth and forgive me, I'll forgive you and…"_

_I felt that hope lingered somewhere else… but I didn't know where. "No Brandon." The anger in his eyes became more eminent. "It's over." Purse and keys still in hand, I ran to my car as fast as I could. _

_Violently I started the engine and floored the gas all the way to Wammy's. What I didn't know was Brandon was following a short distance behind. _

_(Time Skip)_

_I headed straight to L's room, my tears free-flowing for the first time in awhile. I startled the poor detective when I burst in; he had been peacefully browsing some of his files, but closed them when I entered._

"_Kita, what happened?" Ryuzaki stood quickly and came to my side. I collapsed in his arms, sobbing._

_When I calmed down, I told him what had occurred. He only held me tighter, his onyx eyes still dead. After listening, Ryuzaki spoke. "You cannot trust someone like him," he told me. A hint of triumph darkened his voice as he spoke. "I heard you tell Mello what happened a few months ago."_

"_You're right," I choked. I leaned into him and cried some more, until darkness took over. _

_(Time Skip)_

_Ryuzaki shook me awake long after the sun lifted her head above the horizon. "Good morning, sleepyhead," the detective said._

"_Morning," I mumbled. "What time is it?" I looked at my friend and hero tiredly._

"_Ten-thirty," Ryuzaki responded placidly._

_I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "What time did I get here, Ryuzaki?"_

"_About 2:30 this morning," he told me. After finishing the donut he was eating and licking his fingers noisily, the detective spoke again. "So, I take it you and Brandon are broken up now?" His gaze dropped to my ring. _

_Anger rose in me again. "Yes," I responded with contempt as I looked down at the quilt that still covered my legs. "You wouldn't happen to have a lighter, would you?" I returned my eyes to his. _

"_Yeah, actually," Ryuzaki said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver lighter. "Oh, just a sec." He stood and walked over to his desk and opened the left top drawer. After doing some shuffling around and digging within it the detective returned to my side carrying two cigarettes. He held one out to me. "You want one?"_

_I glared at him and pushed it away. "I knew I smelled smoke in here before," I said accusingly. "I thought your sugar habits were crazy, but this will kill you faster than diabetes!"_

"_It's not a __**habit**__, per se," Ryuzaki countered nonchalantly, "I just smoke one now and then." He flicked the lighter on and set the end of the cancer stick aflame; I rolled my eyes in disgust as he handed the lighter to me. _

_I pulled my engagement ring from my hand and struck the flint, then lifted the ring to the flame. The small prongs were softened by the heat and I was able to pry the diamond from them. I leaned over to reach underneath the futon and pulled out my purse to slip the diamond into the change part of my wallet. Then, I lazily stuffed it back into my purse and shoved it back under my futon without closing it. I tossed the ring to the trash can across the room. _

_Ryuzaki took a drag then spoke. "You could've got a lot of money for that ring, Kita," he remarked. _

"_I want nothing to remember him by, not even a large sum of money. "I'm going to sell the diamond and donate the cash to this orphanage," I told him._

_Ryuzaki smashed his half-smoked cigarette into a small and easily concealed ash tray, then sat beside me. "This orphanage has plenty of money. We're the only one in the country that doesn't need government assistance. Besides, I bring home more than enough to provide for all of them," the detective explained thoughtfully, referring to the orphans._

"_Well then…I'll think of something," I huffed as I threw the blanket off of myself. "Let's go get some coffee," I said and grabbed Ryuzaki's hand._

"_Don't you want to change first?"_

"_Screw it. Come on." I led him out of his room, downstairs, and into the street._

_(Time Skip)_

_We arrived at the coffee shop around eleven. I went up to the counter and ordered two black coffees, dumping a ludicrous amount of sugar into Ryuzaki's. I sat it down in front of him and I myself across from him. "It's on me," I told him before he protested. _

"_Thank you, Kita," he said as he took a sip, "it's just the way I like it."_

"_No problem," I replied as I sipped from my cup._

_(Time Skip)_

_We finished our coffee in silence. I recognized the waitress that asked Ryuzaki and I if we wanted food. Once again, she was being a flirt. I glared at her and she glared back. "No I'm not hungry, thank you," Ryuzaki told her._

"_All right," she replied with a forced smile. Then she walked away._

"_What was her problem?" Ryuzaki eyed me quizzically. _

_I blinked at him. "Uh… she was __**flirting**__ with you Ryuzaki."_

"_Oh…" A look of embarrassment and surprise crossed his face briefly. _

"_I can tell she's a sleaze though," I continued quickly, "so don't waste your time."_

_He smiled. "Thanks for watching out for me, Kita."_

"_N-no problem," I replied, blushing faintly. _

"_We should probably leave now," Ryuzaki prompted. _

"_You're right," I replied, and stood up. _

_We exited the shop and climbed into my red Porsche. "If you don't mind, Kita, could I drive?"_

_I shrugged. "I don't see why not." I tossed him the keys over the top of the car from the passenger side. The detective caught them without looking up, it seemed. _

_Ryuzaki climbed into the car with a smoothness that was almost feline, while I followed suit rather clumsily and almost hit my head where the door meets the car at the roof. Ryuzaki didn't seem to notice since he started the car as soon as I'd shut the door. _

_He pulled out of the parking lot, and hit 60 k/hr up the left side of the street. "Are you crazy?" My voice hit the pitch of terror. "Slow down! The speed limit is only 40!" _

_Ryuzaki gave me a small smile. "Don't worry, Kita. We'll be fine I assure you," he told me, his eyes never leaving the road. _

"_I guess I trust you," I told him with a smile. Ryuzaki inclined his head so his raven locks hid his face from my view. "What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing, Kita… Oh look. We're home!" Ryuzaki squealed the tires of my Porsche as he pulled into the drive that led to the garage. _

_Watari stood at the door leading into the mansion. "Ryuzaki," he called. _

"_Yes, Watari?" The detective climbed from my car as I did. _

"_There's someone on the phone for Kita. She claims to be her best friend."_

"_It must be Sharon," I told them as I rushed past Watari and into the orphanage. I picked up the phone that hung on the wall beside the staircase. "Hello?"_

"_Kita," came the relieved voice… but it didn't belong to Sharon._

"_Brandon," I growled as my body began to shake with rage, "What do you want?"_

"_You," he said dispassionately. "I'm at the coffee shop. Meet me there and we'll talk."_

_I slammed the phone down without responding. "What's the matter, Kita?" Watari stood upon the steps eyeing me with concern. Ryuzaki watched emotionlessly, still standing in the doorway between the garage and the orphanage._

"_It was my ex-fiance," I told them quietly. Ryuzaki's gaze hardened and Watari shot him a questioning glance. "He disguised his voice." I continued in a rush. "He wanted me to meet him at the coffee shop down in Winchester so we could work things out…" I paused. The two men continued to watch me. "But I don't want to," I murmured with finality. _

_A shout from the second floor caused Watari to hurry up the steps, and he disappeared into the house. "Don't then," Ryuzaki replied as he headed for the stairs himself. I followed slowly. _

_When we reached the top, Ryuzaki and I found Matt sitting in the hallway sulking. "What's wrong, Matt?" Ryuzaki knelt beside him. _

"_I got in trouble," he responded. _

"_What did ya do this time?" I spoke jokingly to try and cheer Matt and myself up._

_Ryuzaki's expression softened and the storm in his eyes all but vanished. "Tell us, Matt," he commanded gently. _

"_I said the f-word," the boy muttered. "My game made me mad."_

_Ryuzaki rolled his eyes. "You heard it from Mello, didn't you?" _

_Matt nodded. His flame-red bangs fell into his eyes as he did so. "I'm sorry," he said softly._

"_You shouldn't repeat much of what Mello says," I told him laughingly as I mussed his hair. _

"_Okay," he replied with a smile as he stood and headed for Watari's office. _

_Once Matt entered the door, I allowed my expression to fall. I followed Ryuzaki into our room and shut the door. _

_The detective turned around slowly to face me and rested a ghostly hand on my shoulder. "Everything will be okay, Kita," Ryuzaki assured me. _

"_You'll find someone else and move on soon, I'm sure." There was a look in his dark eyes that I didn't recognize. _

_I sat on my futon with a sigh. Ryuzaki shuffled over to the computer and sat in the chair. He wiggled the mouse and IM messages popped up, but he closed them. After a few moments of silence, I decided to speak. "Say, Ryuzaki?"_

"_Yes, Kita?" _

"_Could I go back to my house tomorrow and get the rest of my things?"_

"_Of course. I'm leaving for a case tomorrow night, so please go when you awaken in the morning." The detective didn't turn around when he spoke._

"_Thanks," I replied sincerely._

"_Yup."_

_Shortly after, I fell asleep._

_End__Part__XIV_


	16. Blood

Part XV

Blood

_I was standing in the dark. Footsteps pounded loudly behind me… or was it in front…?_

_I screamed at a sudden sharp pain in my stomach… and looked down to see a steak knife. Blood was running down my jeans and warming my hands._

_Much to the dismay of my eyes, there was a bright flash…_

And I awoke to find myself lying on my futon in Ryuzaki's room. There was no knife… no blood anywhere. I sighed in relief while my heart continued to race. _I need to head to the house now,_ I told myself.

So, I climbed out of bed and pulled the last clean outfit from my duffel bag. I had just taken a quick shower then wolfed down a cherry Poptart, when I saw Ryuzaki shuffling up the hall toward me. "Good morning," I said.

Ryuzaki inclined his head. "Would you like me to go along? I guess I could drive you," he offered.

"No, thank you. I need time to think. See ya," I said with a wave as I continued to the staircase.

(Time Skip)

Fifteen minutes later, I pulled into the driveway of the two-sided house. Both sides were now empty since Brandon and I had split and moved out.

I flipped through my keys until I found the right one, then proceeded with unlocking the front door. Everything was just as it had been when I left, so I unsuspectingly climbed the stairs to the rooms above.

The one Brandon and I shared was still in a shambles since our fight, but the dressers were untouched. The black curtains over the window hid the clothing in my drawers from view. _Wait, _I thought then. _Black curtains? They weren't here before…_

Nervously, I reached into my drawers and pulled out random articles of clothing. As I began to quickly shove them into my duffel bag, a loud sound from near the bed caused me to drop them.

Seeing nothing, I knelt to pick up a shirt…

When strong hands grabbed me from behind. My mouth was covered before I could scream and my waist secured before I could escape.

My captor then grabbed my wrists and forced my back into a wall hard. As I tried to resist, my attacker continued to hold my wrists with one hand pressed a knife against my tender stomach with the other. I gasped, watching my dream become a reality.

"Surprise, Kita baby," a silky voice whispered.

"Brandon. What do you want?"

"You," he whispered into my ear.

"That's not the message you sent when you were with her," I snarled.

"I did that to get you to tell me the truth about you and Ryuzaki. Since you didn't, however, I've come to a decision: if I can't have you, neither can he." I tried to cry out, but he pressed the knife closer to silence me. "He won't save you, no matter how loud you scream," Brandon taunted as he pressed the knife tighter against my lower abdomen.

"You're sick," I breathed, trying to avoid the pain. My assailant turned the tip against me instead of the blade.

Then, Brandon lowered the knife from my belly button about 2 inches. "You probably got his filthy child in there somewhere, too," he continued…

…and stabbed me. I screamed in horror as blood flowed from my wound. "You've got it all wrong, Brandon," I pleaded shakily. I coughed and tasted blood.

"Stop lying!" He cut me several times. My vision blurred. "If I can't have you, neither can he," he said again.

Within the house, a gun was fired. I expected everything to end there; instead, Brandon froze and grew silent. "I'm up here," I called weakly. "Help me!"

Brightness could be seen in the hall, and five silhouettes came into view. "Drop your weapon and freeze! You're under arrest for aggravated assault and attempted homicide!"

_The police!_ Brandon released my hands and I collapsed, too weak to stand. I watched my saviors handcuff my former boyfriend, and I felt my eyes unwillingly close.

(Time Skip)

_Then someone was kissing me roughly… urgently… as if our lives were ending. _

_Things escalated from there… when the pain in my abdomen began. I knew then that I was in labor…_

Beep… beep… beep… I opened my eyes to find myself in a hospital. All of my limbs… and my eyelids were heavy. Ryuzaki stood by my side. "Where's my baby?" At least that's what I tried to say.

Ryuzaki's eyes lit up. "You're awake." The relief in his voice was obvious. "I guess the morphine is still working," I heard him say. "Your speech is slurred."

_Yeah, tell me something I don't know, _I thought with frustration. As my mind cleared I lifted my right arm- the one without the IV and heart monitor attached- and touched my abdomen where the pain had been. Stitches. _A C-section!_

"Where's my baby?"

This time, Ryuzaki understood. Sadness, confusion, and other emotions flickered in his eyes. "There isn't one, Kita."

"No," I whispered, misunderstanding what he meant.

Ryuzaki put a hand on my shoulder. "Kita, you weren't pregnant. Brandon…"

Finally, I discerned my dream from reality. "M-my mistake. Sorry, Ryuzaki."

"No need to apologize, especially when none of this is your fault," the detective told me gently. "It's the morphine. But tell me, did you and Brandon-?"

"Never!" I hadn't been lying, but my heart rate accelerated. With an extreme amount of effort, the detective managed to calm me again.

Then, he went to the intercom beside my bed and pressed the "call" button. "Could I get another dose of morphine for the patient in room 302?"

"Of course, Mr. Ryuga," the nurse at the other end replied.

"Thank you."

I glared at the detective. "Oh no, I have questions to ask you! First of all, how did the cops know what was going to happen?"

"I followed you and saw Brandon enter at the back carrying a weapon as you walked in the front door. So, I called the Winchester Police Station and they came to your address. They were a little late though, so I should have attacked him myself."

Ryuzaki was shaking. I reached out to touch him, but he backed away as the nurse entered. His face was partially hidden in shadow from the twilight sky outside of my window. "You need to rest."

The needle entered my arm, even as I tried to pull away. I began to protest, but everything went black.

End Part XV


	17. Threatened

Part XVI

Threatened

When I awoke again it was completely dark outside. No one else was in my room. I sighed deeply, the pain in my lower abdomen only slight. A few nurses and doctors sped down the hall outside of my room; one doctor was speaking loudly into a walkie-talkie. "I need all available personnel in the ER! We have a serious case of cardiac arrest on our hands!"

That would be a horrible and painful way to die, I thought, and winced as my abdominal pain grew worse. I'll just go back to sleep. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning…I dozed once more.

…

Ryuzaki was there again when I awoke; I felt him brush his cool fingertips against the back of my hand before I opened my eyes. "Good morning," he said.

"Good morning yourself," I replied weakly. "Did they say anything about my condition?"

"You're going to be fine," he said reassuringly.

"I know that much," I told him. "I'm not dead."

He glared, then sighed and lowered his eyes. "I hate to be the one to tell you, but depending on how your insides heal, you… may never be able to have children. At least not without d-" he trailed off.

My heart sank. Burn in Purgatory forever, Brandon, I thought with animosity. "So I would die, then," I concluded softly. Ryuzaki nodded. " I wasn't planning a future like that anyway. It doesn't matter." Was I lying? Yes.

"I see," Ryuzaki replied. "But there's only a chance you won't heal properly. At this point, the doctors say everything is fine. Those cuts were very deep, though, yanno."

I nodded, feeling better… for the time being.

…

I remained in the hospital for a week before they sent me back to Wammy's. Watari and Roger had brought a few of the children in each day to see me; they all greeted me happily when Ryuzaki brought me home. That's what it was, after all. Home…

…

Three months later, after several doctor visits, I had made a full recovery and turned nineteen. Brandon was sentenced to 10 years in prison without a trial.

…

Then, it was 2am on September 2nd. Someone urgently shook me awake. "Kita, you have to get up," Ryuzaki pleaded.

I groaned. "What's wrong?"

"You have to get out of here!" The detective began grabbing my clothes and shoving them into my duffel bag with one hand, clinging to something I couldn't see with the other.

"What are you doing? Why do I have to go?"

He stopped his maniacal packing and looked at me. I didn't like what I saw: Ryuzaki's eyes were cold and frightened, his face as pale as I'd ever seen it. "Three men blew a hole in the side of the prison with their bombs. They killed four inmates and Brandon escaped."

I jumped out of bed quickly. "But I don't have to leave…"

"Yes, you do," he murmured, pain in his voice. I tried to interrupt, but he continued. "I had cameras and microphones set up in the interrogation room before he was questioned. Brandon admitted to following you here.

"They searched his computer and found the threatening messages that were sent to me. Evidence was also found to link him to Al Qaeda.." Ryuzaki paused to gauge my reaction.

"So he's a terrorist?" I felt my blood run cold.

Ryuzaki nodded. "Yes. He's been trained as one since a young age. "

"But that still doesn't mean I have to leave."

The detective lowered his eyes and winced. "At the end of his interrogation, Brandon said he was going to find you and kill you as soon as he escaped from jail."

End Part XVI


End file.
